he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
