how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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