dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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