She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
