My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
