Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
