there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize