i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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