Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
