I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
