I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
