I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
