I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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