Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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