So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
