My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
