I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
