I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
