what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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