i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize