the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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