foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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