brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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