I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'd cum for enchiladas.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Drunk is not a location!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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