Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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