Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
