if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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