i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
3 2 1 whiskey
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
