Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
