Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
