Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
