Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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