I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
