I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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