BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
