the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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