I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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