New low: just hacked my moms facebook
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize