he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
