The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
