Me. At least after what I've been through.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
