I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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