I hate your face
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
