Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize