If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
