So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
