I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
