I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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