bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
