Betty ford says i'm here all night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
