she was so not down for the gang bang
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
