I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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