its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
