We need to rekindle our bromance
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
