He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
