I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
